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oingyboing02
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Name: Tracy
Country: United States
State: California
Birthday: 6/7/1984
Gender: Female
Interests: movies, books, pop culture, talking about life. getting to know Jesus and myself better.
Expertise: umm. complaining, being sarcastic, and more!
Occupation: slave
Industry: film, kinda.
Message: message me
AIM:  oingyboing02
Member Since:
3/9/2003
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| these last few months have been really good. even as they've been really hard. but with Butterfly Circus done (and doing really well!) and a few commercials, music videos, and potential job offers, i'm feeling good. i've been surrounded by some really amazing people who have been encouraging and affirming and i feel like i'm more confident than ever that this is the direction i need to be moving in. i've really been enjoying the freelance life-style, even though it's inconsistent. i'm quite lucky that i'm able to do this without worrying where my next meal will come from. i really love my job. hopefully my sentiments don't change next month when i'm unemployed again. haha.
at some point though, i need to make my leap and be proactive about doing the jobs that i want rather than just accepting the jobs that fall in my lap. i can't stay where i'm at forever. as one guy i worked with told me, "no one else is going to give you a promotion. you have to decide what you're worth." some day....
it's been awhile since i've talked about boys on this thing. hahaha.. i remember when that's the only thing i talked about. mymy. hopefully i've matured since then. anyway. guys are still confusing. that won't ever change. as much as rickey tells me how "simple" they are, they shall always elude my understanding. i guess that's just the way it is. i still have a lot of questions, and sometimes i feel lonely and wish things were different, but i'm told i'm in a good place. haha. growth is painful, right?
we'll end with a story.
last weekend some of us went out for a friend's bday to a club/lounge place. and this random guy walks up to one of the girls in our group and says, "don't you go to UCLA? yeah, i think i've seen you around!" she says.. yes, i go there, but i'm a grad student. He's like. "oh. i'm a second year." (he meant undergrad) so that was awkward. so then he left. 20 minutes later, the same guy walks up to me, and says, "Don't you go to UCLA? I think i've seen you around." I told him, "You already use that line on my friend. it's not gonna work." and he looked at me, opened his mouth to say something, but didn't... and then walked away.
it was so sad. i felt very mean.
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| my friends are all getting married off, and although these weddings are happy occasions full of fun and laughter and some happy tears (you know me), it makes me sad that our relationships will inevitably change. goodbye forever, Anthony. haha just kidding. i love ant & elana separately. so i look forward to loving them together. wow, that sounds weird. i'm not trying to sound inappropriate. haha
even tho i was busy helping do random things at the wedding and sadly missed a lot of the ceremony, i had a lot of fun today. it was good being there with old and new friends and i had a rare feeling of belonging. i love that feeling. i love my friends.
if you haven't heard .. (and for people like Amanda Ta who refuse to get on facebook) .. i worked on a short film called "The Butterfly Circus" a few months ago. It was a really awesome project that we all put our hearts and souls into. It's currently part of a film competition, and you can view it online here.
Here's the rub. in order for you to vote, you HAVE to create a login and sign in and watch ALL TEN finalist films, and vote on all of them. i knoooow this is a lot to ask, and i thank everyone who's already watched it said really encouraging things already. but if you could take the time to watch and vote on the others, we would really appreciate it. There's been a lot of views for our film, but it hasn't been translating into votes, so we really need your help in order to win! And if the film touched you, or if you love me, you should forward the link on to everyone you know too! :D | | |
| big fight with my parents yesterday before they left.
made my mom cry.
she told me i act like i don't love her. i resisted the urge to tell her i've never felt like she loved me. it may be something i know in my head, but never really felt. anyway, those were hurtful words to hear. i think that was the intention.
she also said that i treat my friends better than i do my family. i'm still trying to decide if that's true.
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| my mother was here for the last week and a half, which is why i've been MIA (that, in addition to filming another short film this weekend.. the most stressful on set experience i've had yet.)
she cleaned the entire place, complained about how i lived, pulled out all my stuff and rearranged things in my room, and made food into little ziploc portions and put them in our freezer. (hey, i have to take the good and the bad, right?)
we bought some furniture (finally).. a dining room table and a TV stand. and it only took us a freakin week. we went to like 20 different stores, 5 of them a minimum of 2 times, some in San Gabriel Valley. i wanted to scream. needless to say, my mother and i got into a few arguments. *sigh* i feel mean, but i'm glad she's left. I have about 2 months to recuperate, then she's coming back again. this time with my dad too. eek.
still needed for the place: couch, desk and tv for my room, sitting chairs for the back of the living room, rugs. that should only take another year. gah.
funny story about my mum: we were driving and i asked her to get my bluetooth out of my purse for me. she fumbles around, and pulls out my ipod. "is this it?" "no, mom.. it's smaller than that. for your ear... " then she fumbles around some more, and pulls out my USB flash drive. "is it this one?"
i just started laughing at her.
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| i feel it's problematic that when guys in the film industry reassure me that they think i can "make it" in this biz, one of the reasons they give is because i'm a "pretty girl". what the hell is that.
my crazy boss from 2 years ago asked to be my friend on facebook. i haven't responded to the request in weeks. what to do?
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